1st Road Trip of 2013

This past weekend OG and I took a little road trip out west for our district's Fine Arts Festival.  (Because we live WAY out in the country, round trip total was 824 miles).  It was exceptionally nice to spend some "mother/daughter" time together.  We did a little shopping, too much eating and she ministered beautifully.  Here's a few photos from the weekend:

OG eagerly awaiting her scheduled time slot.

OG was blessed to be personally acquainted with the sound tech, Mr.N.
 We hosted him and his family last fall while they visited our church.

Here she is accompanying herself on the acoustic guitar while
singing Third Day's "Love Song".  She was the only female
vocalist from the Jr. or Sr. division  who accompanied herself.
The judges commented on how much they LOVED that! 

Her scores were much better than last year.  She was upgraded
from "good" to "excellent".  Next year she hopes to close the
4 point gap to achieve "superior with invitation", which would
earn her a spot in the Nationals.

As always, the drive out west is beautiful.

Status Update ...

... Mr.B is on his way home from a business trip.  Yesterday, he phoned me from the Godiva Chocolate store front to inquire about which boxes of chocolates he should bring home.  He also notified me that he was able to find one of AB's favorite childhood treats, which we'll be sending him for his upcoming birthday.

Are you wondering why I'd find this to be something worthwhile to post about?  Well, it's because when one moves away from the conveniences of a large city to the isolation of the Montana prairie, it doesn't take much to get excited.

Back in the Saddle

They are home .. It's been less than 24 hours, am I already tired?  I am so happy the Lord protected my family and brought them home safely.  The children had so much fun.  I hope to soon go through the photos and find a few to share with you.

 I awoke to what looked like the aftermath of a tornado that had steamrolled through our house.  I already miss the clean and the quiet.  Maybe being home alone for such a length wasn't the best idea?

Unfortunately, I'm the one of those who struggle with clutter, and sometimes noise.  It is very clear that I never think our home is clean enough.  Even while home alone, I thought it could have been much cleaner.  I resisted the urges to clean, clean & clean because I knew taking the opportunity to get much needed rest was more important.

Most of the bags have been unpacked and items put away.  The gifts have been opened and all the wrappings disposed of.  Our home is almost back to a pre-vacation state of tolerance.

My big priority for tomorrow is to get thank you notes written - OG and EJ's favorite task (hee, hee).  This will be their language arts / writing assignment.  I also plan to ease them back into the school routine by assigning a math lesson and indulging in some oral reading.  Even at the ages of 14 & 11 they still like having others read aloud to them.  I LOVE that they have not yet outgrown this activity.

Well, my cocoa cup is empty signaling that it is time for me to drift off to dream land.  I pray you have very sweet dreams tonight.

Home Alone - Day 11

Well, today was it.  My last day at home alone.  Mr.B and the littles should arrive in about 3 hours, therefore, I am preparing my last uninterrupted aroma therapy bath.  I am not sure I will be able to enjoy this bath because Mr.B INSISTS on driving in despite poor road conditions.  OG phoned me from their last rest stop asking me to convince him to get a hotel room because the ice, snow and cars off in the bar ditches have her scared.  As always, when returning from a trip, Mr.B seems to loose all common sense and control of himself and becomes overtaken by some weird force compelling him to get home as fast as possible, regardless of speed limits or travel conditions.  I HATE traveling home with him - I am terrified the entire time we are in the vehicle.  All I can do is pray for a safe arrival home.

I spent a portion of my day preparing for my family's arrival.  All their Christmas gifts are neatly arranged near the hearth.  I also cooked myself a very traditional southern New Year's Day supper of black eyed peas, fried cabbage & cornbread - YUM!  It was excellent.  I wish my family had been here to share it with me.  There are plenty of leftovers for tomorrow.

The big boys and I wished each other a Happy New Year via telephone this afternoon.  I was so very happy to hear that AB and BT's Christmas boxes were both finally delivered late yesterday.  Both boys, seemed very happy with their homemade gifts.  All three boys also received their gift from their Aunt C and, as always, were thrilled that she remembered them.

I have sincerely enjoyed the past 11 days of relaxation and reflection.  I think I am now ready to begin a new year.

Home Alone - Day 10

I enjoyed not having a set amount of time to blog.  Since I'm the only one home, I was able to take as much or as little time as desired.  I only had to be aware of getting the evening chores done before dark.

For this New Years Eve I tried a new chicken dip recipe I found at the Mennonite Girls Can Cook blog and watched 5 hours of Pride & Prejudice mini-series -- WooHoo!  I'm a wild one aren't I?  The  dip was so good it was the only thing I ate after breakfast all day -  I ended up eating the entire dish for lunch, snack & supper!  I'll probably be hating myself next week because of the 100 pounds it will put on me.  Man! this stuff is delish.  If you'd like to try it the recipe is here: ( http://www.mennonitegirlscancook.ca/2012/12/hot-chicken-ranch-dip.html ).

While watching the mini-series, something I never get a chance to do uninterrupted  I also worked on my little crochet project.  I'm should be able to finish it off within a couple hours.

I hope your New Years Eve was safe and pleasant.  I pray your new year will be filled with love, laughter, kindness and prosperity.

Happy New Year!

Home Alone - Day 9

I am so bad!  I am late with another daily home alone post ... what are we all to do with me?

Day nine was not quite as restful as days 7 & 8.  I left Piper, EJ's puppy, in her puppy playpen in the basement while attending church.  When I arrived home she had figured out how to escape her playpen (I assume she climbed onto the top of her pet crate and jumped over the enclosure).  She had made quite a mess in the  stairwell, mudroom and kitchen.  I scolded her, put her outside and spent about an hour cleaning up after her.  I've also removed her pet crate from the puppy playpen and placed her dogie bed directly on the concrete floor.  We'll see how long it takes her to figure out how to escape now that she doesn't have anything to climb upon.

I am very frustrated with the U.S.Postal service.   The packages I mailed the big boys for Christmas have arrived late or not at all.  We also have a monthly bill that, after 4 weeks, has not been delivered.  JP finally received his gift box - BUT AB and BT have not received theirs.  I spent an entire year making BT's homemade gift, it is not something easily replaced.  I have a very foreboding feeling that both AB and BT's gifts were stolen after being left on door steps.  As inconvenient as it is for the boys, it appears that I will have to require signatures for any future deliveries.  Please don't leave comments about using UPS as an alternative shipping method - Their track record with me is even worse than the U.S. Postal system.  I simply can not understand why I have had so many issues with packages & mail that I send since moving to eastern Montana - regardless of the shipping company I choose.  The common denominator is that all the packages and mail I've had issues with were sent from our local town.  I have not had any issues with items sent from our neighboring town.

My ankle has improved greatly - thank you for your prayers.  The swelling is considerably reduced and I am walking well without much pain.

I recently received a few anonymous questions in the comments section of my article on Biblical Submission. Although I responded in the appropriate comments section I thought I'd also take a few moments to respond in a post.

The questions posted were:
"Do you ever.miss your freedom? I know since.it is voluntary, its not.really slavery (as you mentioned). Do you miss having choices on what the direction of your own life will go? Does your.husband order you to do anything stupid (not illegal, just.not.sensible)? Do you have.any boundaries, such as what.orders.you will not.obey?"

These questions were left in the comment section of Biblical Submission - Part 1.  I hope the inquirer took time to read parts 2-4 in their entirety.  I hope he/she will come to understand that Biblical submission and abuse are NOT synonymous terms.  Biblical Submission is about submitting one's will to God's plan and design for marriage. Many years ago when I realized that most of the conflict in my marriage was a direct result of my lack of respect and honor toward my husband, I also realized that the ONLY way I could ever Biblically submit to Mr.B was by learning to submit to God and His plan for marriage.  

So, question 1. Do I miss my freedom?  
Since I live in a no-fault divorce state, it would be quite easy to leave my marriage if I chose to do so.  Biblical submission does not encompass a husband controlling his wife's comings and goings.  It is about respecting one's husband as the leader of the family.  Biblical submission is about fostering a husband's trust in his wife.  Mr.B is 100% confident in me.  He trusts me because I've NEVER given reason not to.  He is fully confident that only death will separate me from our family.  Thus, there is no reason for me to "miss my freedom" OR for Mr.B to ever be concerned regarding my comings and goings.  Biblical submission relates to my integrity as a person and my consideration towards others.

Question 2.  Do you miss having choices on what the direction of your own life will go?  
I laughed out loud when I read this question.  Why?  Because I've been a mother for almost 29 years.  Mr. B does not nor has he ever controlled my life choices.  Reality check:  if I wanted a different life than the one I have, I should have made different choices 30 years ago.  When I chose to have a family, I chose to always put their needs before my own wants, desires and goals.  When one chooses to have a family, whether that family is just a husband & wife or whether 10 or more children are added to the mix, the husband & wife should be mature enough and responsible enough to put their own selfish and childish desires aside for the needs of the other family members.  If the husband and/or wife are not willing to do so, then they are in great need of repentance before the Lord. This aspect of biblical submission is not about a husband authoritatively directing his wife's life choices. It is about the husband and wife putting the needs of the family before their own wants.  (note:  needs and wants are not synonymous terms)

Questions 3 & 4.  Does your husband ever order you to do anything stupid (not illegal, just not sensible)?  "Do you have any boundaries, such as what orders you will not obey?"
Biblical submission does NOT encompass a husband aggressively reigning over his wife, commanding her here and there.  Biblical submission is about learning to work together as a team.  In our family, Mr.B is the Chief Executive Officer (CEO).  I am the Chief Operating Officer(COO) and, because I am so detailed oriented, I am also the Accountant.  As the CEO, Mr.B, generally sees the big picture.  He sees what direction he'd like our family to go.  As the COO, I am in charge of all the little details to help get us there.  If  a challenge arises that I do not know how to handle OR if my efforts are not achieving the desired results, Mr.B and I work together on finding a solution.  I respect Mr.B, and because I am ALWAYS honest with him, he respects me.  I have no need of worrying about what I will or will not obey because Mr.B is a respectful person who does not order me to do anything, much less something immoral, un-biblical or illegal.  I am Mr.B's closest confidant, best friend and co-captain.  We are a team and without each other our entire family fails.

I sincerely pray that the worldly misconceptions of biblical submission that the women's liberation movement brought us, will be shattered.  Biblical submission is most simply defined as, recognizing that the husband and wife are a team.  The husband is the captain and the wife is the 1st mate.  A well organized ship does not run smoothly with two captains nor with two 1st mates.  Biblical submission allows the husband to take the helm as captain with his wife steadily by his side as 1st mate resulting in smooth sailing for the entire family.

Well that concludes my posts for day 9 on being home alone.  Mr.B and the children are planning to arrive home tomorrow or Wednesday, depending upon road conditions.  Sadly, I will most likely not be able to post daily as my time will be directed toward the cares of my family.  Although I have thoroughly enjoyed these past  10 days of indulging myself, I am looking forward to the return of those I love most.  I only have a few short years left with OG and EJ before they head out to make their own ways like their older brothers.  Then Mr.B and I will be left with nothing to do but annoy each other between visits from grandchildren.

Happy New Year!

Home Alone - Day 8

Nothing exciting to report.  Since my ankle is swollen I've been trying to stay off my feet as much as possible and chores have been slow.  I spent most of my time today working on a crochet project.  I hope to have it finished by Monday evening.

This week has given me an opportunity to realize how much laundry my family dirties and how much food they eat.  Eight days alone and I've had only one load of laundry, one dishwasher load of dishes and cooked only two meals - I have plenty of leftovers.  If my family were home I'd have washed at least 2 loads of laundry every day and I generally spend at least 5 hours per day in the kitchen cooking meals that result in few leftovers.

Today was Mr.B's 2nd cousin's very formal wedding.  From all accounts it was GORGEOUS!  OG very much enjoyed dressing up and attending this fancy event.  Mr.B bought EJ new boots, a new belt and a new sports coat. It is reported that he looked very dapper.  I am eager to see the photos when they all return home.

I have abundantly enjoyed the quiet.  I am sort of dreading all the noise that will return with my family.  Yeah, call me weird - as much as I love my family (this home alone adventure is proving that they encompass my WHOLE life), I do not miss the noise that accompanies them.

Till tomorrow ...

Home Alone - Day 7

I am late publishing Day 7's post.  On the way into my office last night, I severely twisted my ankle.  I heard a loud pop and then came the excruciating pain.  At first I was almost certain I had broken my ankle.  However, after 4 Advil (2 taken immediately after the incident & 2 taken before bed) and a good night's sleep, I believe I've only sprained it.  Morning chores have been slow as I've limped around in 6" deep snow  hauling feed sacks and water buckets.

So, how was day 7?  Aside from injuring my ankle, very restful and mostly peaceful.  I say mostly peaceful because during my phone conversations with my family, EJ attempted to engage me in an argument.  The second time within two days.  We are not even in the same house and he's not having to obey or even try to get along with me yet, he decides to pull his regular antics.  This upset me considerably.  I was hoping that time away from mom would cause his heart to grow fonder.  No, there is not one single indication that he's missed me.  EJ has, thus far, been my most difficult child for his age.  He isn't a "bad" kid, he just likes to ignore me and argues about EVERY instruction I give him.   He is obedient and gets along well with Mr.B.  Other people compliment me on his behavior and helpful attitude.  He, for the most part, gets along pretty well with others - just not his mama. On the other hand, OG started crying saying she misses me and Mr.B is thinking about packing up and leaving for home tomorrow, two days early.  I don't do drama or changed plans very well.  I like consistency.

Well, I'm off to prepare myself some breakfast.  I'll post about Day 8 this evening, so "tune back in".

Home Alone - Day 6

It's been 5 days since I last washed laundry - I still don't have a full washer load.  Leftovers from two meals cooked before my family left and one take-out meal have fed me all week.  Although I drink a large glass of milk with breakfast every morning, I still have more than 1/2 a gallon.

It has been snowing, off & on, for the past three days.  It is beautiful outside.  Everything I view is like looking at a winter scene on a Christmas card - gorgeous.  (no photos - OG took our camera on vacation)

Since EJ's been gone, I've been in charge of training his puppy, Piper.  She is beginning to catch on.  She comes when I call her name.  It also seems she is beginning to understand the word, "outside".  I hope EJ is consistent when he returns home so Piper continues on this positive trend.  It is obvious she, and Sam our older dog, miss OG and him.

My day was another excessively lazy one.  Do I feel guilty?  Not at all.  All the chores are done and the house is clean.  Since I'm the only one here, it stays that way.  I have come to realize that I need the rest.  I anticipated having trouble sleeping at night due to a significantly slower pace of life and much less work. On the contrary, I've slept very well at night even with a little catnap during the day.  A sure sign of exhaustion.

Speaking of sleep, I'm going to turn in.  Praying you all sleep well this evening.

Home Alone - Day 5

Today was truly a LAZY day.  I began the morning visiting via telephone with Mr.B and then with Mrs.A.  Thus, I had a late start with the morning chores.  Thankfully the animals did not seem to notice that I was running late with feed and water.  Aside from deep cleaning the master bath, I've done nothing productive today.  The evening is being finished with a hot aroma therapy bath filled with a generous portion of eucalyptus spearmint stress relief bath soak
During my home alone time I have discovered that during winter months here in the freezing north, I am need of a set of flannel sheets.  Every night I've climbed into bed the sheets have been freezing cold!  Maybe I will be gifted with a set for Valentine's Day or Mother's Day.
I very much enjoyed this lazy, quiet day.

Home Alone - Day 4

Christmas Day.  I received FOUR separate invitations to Christmas dinner.  My personal desire was to decline all of the them, however, the 1st person to invite me was one of our community's senior citizens.  Her children and grandchildren, save one never married daughter, live out of state & do not travel to eastern Montana during winter months.  Ms.SP seemed so desperate to have another person spend the day with her and her daughter, I couldn't bring myself to refuse her invitation.  I took a couple dozen eggs for a hostess gift and a pumpkin pie as contribution to the meal.  When my family left to travel south, I had envisioned spending a very quiet day lounging on the sofa watching cheesy Christmas movies & eating bowls of popcorn.  Ms.SP seemed truly delighted to have me as a guest today and after all was said and done, I am very glad I accepted her invite.

All my lounging plans were not put aside.  I was home by 3:30, an entire hour before dark.  I finished up the farm chores, put on my most comfy clothes & wool socks, popped a bowl of popcorn and enjoyed two Christmas movies that Mr.B and the rest of my family would NEVER watch with me - LOL!

Although my day did not go as originally envisioned, I feel so abundantly blessed by our community.  These families and individuals conveyed a sincerity in their invitations that I've never felt before.  I sincerely feel like they really wanted me to join them - it does not seem their invitations were extended merely out of pity (which is a good thing because I was not saddened, in any way, about the prospect of being alone today - I have been blessed with the gift of rest, something I am in great need of).  That communication of sincerity has turned out to be a most precious gift and has abundantly blessed me.

My plans for the remaining days alone include a resolve to stay at home, reflect on the Word of God, meditate upon the Lord and enjoy the opportunity to bask in rest and relaxation.  I am now off to indulge in a cup of hot cocoa before retiring for the evening.

Blessings and, again, Merry Christmas!

Home Alone - Day 3

Well, here I sit with my cup of hot cocoa at the close of another day at home alone.  Won't you pour yourself a cup of hot tea, cocoa or whatever you enjoy most and join me?

Today was full of surprising gifts.  We received a box of gifts from my dear BFF sister in Texas.  She has the most incredible knack for sending the most thoughtful gifts.  The obvious time and effort she puts forth means so much to me.  I am touched that someone could and/or would love me so much as to be so thoughtful.

 I also had an unexpected visit from our neighbors.  I was not expecting to see them drive up this afternoon.  Yes, my next door neighbors DROVE to our house.  As ridiculous as that may sound to most, you all must remember that my next door neighbor is 1 1/2 miles away.  Since our temperature was 1 degree Fahrenheit @ 2:30 this afternoon, I think a drive in a warm vehicle was practical.  Mr. W and his two beautiful children blessed us with a Christmas gift AND some bison!  I decided to wait until my family returns home to open the gift and I am confident Mr.B will be very grateful for the bison.  EJ & OG will be disappointed they missed a visit from their friends.

This evening I attended my 1st ever candlelight Christmas service.  In all the years I've been a Christian, family obligations have kept me from attending a candlelight service.  The singing was angelic.  The message was delivered with compassion and love.  BUT, my favorite portion of the evening was the closing when the candles were lit. As I stood in the dark watching each person light his/her candle the symbolism of the witness of Jesus Christ was so poignant.  We all stand in the darkness of sin separated from God.  Because of the gift of Jesus Christ we each have the opportunity to be reconciled with God.  But how do we receive that gift?   The Christian stands in the light of God and his/her world is illuminated (a person stands with a lighted candle).  The Christian tells us of the gift of Jesus Christ, we then must choose to accept the gift (light our candle) or reject it.  When we accept the gift we then witness to another person and he/she has the opportunity to accept (light his/her candle) or reject.  As the message is spread and accepted one person at a time is pulled out of the darkness of sin and into the light of God.  As we went around the church lighting candles, I noticed that one man's lit candle was extinguished.  To me this represented a fall from our Christian walk.  However, when his candle went out, his neighbor turned to him and offered to help him re-light his candle. He accepted the offer and was once again illuminated with light.  When we fail and succumb to sin's temptations, we have the opportunity to repent and be reconciled, once again, to God.  Oh! how I wish I were eloquent enough in my writing to effectively convey the message of how the lighting of the candles ministered to my heart.  What a beautiful gift the Lord gave me this Christmas!

I pray you and your loved ones experience something special and moving in your hearts this Christmas.

MERRY CHRISTMAS & GOD BLESS

Home Alone - Day 2

This morning was a cold one!  When I left for church the temp was only 5 degrees & it was snowing.  I think our high temperature today was only around 9 degrees.

So, what did I do today?

Morning chores & got ready for church un-rushed and void of the usual Sunday morning chaos.
Arrived on time for a lovely Christmas service at church.
Read all the wonderful Christmas cards our church family blessed us with today.
Took cardboard boxes to the recycling center in our neighboring town.
Picked up Chinese take-out from the new Chinese Restaurant in our neighboring town.
Talked with Mr. B and the littles via telephone. They are having a terrific time!
Scrubbed puppy urine off the basement floor (fortunately its unfinished concrete).
Received a scrumptious gift basket from Mr.B's family that included a touching card wishing I were there this year.
Bundled up then shoveled and swept snow from the walkway & deck.
Enjoyed a cup of hot cranberry apple tea & a chocolate covered graham cracker (from above mentioned gift basket) while blogging.  So glad to be back blogging, I've missed it.
Enjoyed a second evening of candle light - this time I added candle light to the kitchen and master on-suite.
Finished a quiet and relaxing day by watching Masterpiece Classic's "Downton Abby" in my pj's cuddled up in a blanket on the sofa.  No one interrupted me while watching the program, how refreshing!

Home Alone - Day 1

That's right!  I'm home alone.  My family has gone south for the Christmas holiday & left me to tend the farm.       So, what shall I do all by myself for 10 -14 days?  I have no idea - I've never been home alone.  I have been a mom for 28 1/2 years and have never been home alone for more than a few hours.  So, I suppose I'll blog about the experience & you can either pity or envy me.  Shh, I'm secretly, hoping you will turn green with envy.
The B family left at 5:30 AM this morning.  Aside from the given of feeding and tending the animals, my day was filled with the following:

Tidied up the basement.
Tidied up the children's bedrooms.
13 loads of laundry - 6 loads was bedding.
Deep cleaning and rearranging the mudroom.
Enjoyed a cup of hot cocoa while watching an old Harrison Ford movie, "Presumed Innocent"
Enjoyed lighted candles in the mudroom and living room. (EJ is so rambunctious I dare not light candles when he's home.)
Talked with my BFF, Mrs.A, on the telephone.

Tune in tomorrow to see what Day 2 brings ...

Looking for Encouragement?

Yes, I am a conservative person.  I hold to and practice very conservative beliefs and ideas.  Needless to say the 2012 election results are a huge disappointment to me.  Fortunately, God has placed wonderful people in my life who are blessed with the gift of encouragement.

For those of you who, like me, may need some encouragement regarding the elections please stop by Marcia Wilwerding's blog, eHomebody.com and read her post entitled, "A Word of Encouragement to Godly Women Following the Election 2012".  Her post is most uplifting.  Here's a link:

http://ehomebody.blogspot.com/2012/11/a-word-of-encouragement-to-godly-women.html

Praying you find blessings in your day,
Mrs.B

Production + Harvest = Giddy w/ Excitement

My first introduction to gardening was when I went to live with my Uncle T and Aunt J during my youth.  Aunt J's father would come out each spring and help us "put in" a large garden.  Although, as a girl, I complained about having to work in the hot and humid Texas heat, when harvest time began I was always thrilled, excited and amazed at how a tiny seed eventually produced an abundance of food.  Decades later those same feelings of thrill, excitement and amazement still wash over me every time we begin harvesting from our garden.  I am so excited and thrilled when harvest begins, I literally forget about all hard, sweaty, dirty work it took to get there - Ha!

Our garden is finally beginning to produce.

These are the vegetables we harvested on Sunday and Tuesday.

We've been harvesting spinach and lettuce for a few weeks but last week some of our other plants began producing.  Since Sunday we've harvested 3 lb. zucchini, 2 3/4 lb. yellow squash, 1 lb. green beans, 4 gallon Ziplock bags of lettuce, 1 gallon Ziplock bag of spinach, a handful of English peas AND ...

 9 3/4 lb. cucumbers - Yes! I'm planning to make pickles this week; probably bread & butters, they're my favorite.

Camp Out!

 We went camping yesterday.

 We roasted hot dogs, ate s'mores, and talked about recently read books.

By the way, did I mention this all took place in our back yard? 

Perspectives

"When he takes him back up to the highway, he had better drop him at least 10 miles the other side of town because I don't want him put out close enough to walk back and murder my children in the middle of the night."  THAT, my dear readers, was the comment I made to Mr. B when Grandpa phoned late Saturday afternoon announcing that he'd picked up a hitch-hiker, who seemed to be a pretty alright fellow, and thought I could feed him a hot meal before being taken back up to the highway.  I then proceeded to think, "Well, I guess I won't be making an appearance at our home school library open house this evening.  I suppose I'll have to phone Mrs. O and schedule a time to drop that curriculum off."

When Grandpa showed up, I was in the house getting prepared to start supper.  I stepped out to call in one of the littles.  When I saw the back of this "fellow" leaning near the tailgate of Mr.B's truck, I immediately knew it was my younger brother, ..Bo - I'd know that stance anywhere.  It was a pleasant surprise, it's been 5+ years since we'd seen each other -  the last time we saw him EJ was so young he doesn't remember ever meeting his Uncle ..Bo.

The littles enjoyed listening their Uncle ..Bo's  recounts of our early childhood. (Our parent's divorce caused ..Bo and I to be permanently separated at the ages of 11 & 12.)  As I listened, I was astonished at our differing perspectives regarding the relationships we had with our family.  Growing up I always thought certain individuals in our family strongly preferred ..Bo AND these folks never made any attempt to disguise that preference.  Honestly, their blatant and unapologetic preference burned very deep wounds into my little girl heart.  After growing up, having my own family, and committing my life to serving Jesus Christ, I thought that maybe I always judged these certain individuals too harshly.  After all, it is possible I was looking at all those memories from the perspective of a wounded little girl's heart - not the objective and rational viewpoint of an adult.  For a while, I let myself wallow in guilt for my harsh judgments.  I believe guilt is an emotion instilled in us by God that helps lead us toward repentance of our sins.   I eventually repented and sought forgiveness from the Lord for my negative judgments of these folks.  Since listening to Bo's recounts, I am so very happy that I've repented and allowed the Lord to use the healing balm of forgiveness to sooth the wounds in my heart.  Why?  Because as I listened to Bo's perspective of our childhood I realized that our family not only preferred Bo BUT they outright DESPISED me.  Had I failed to forgive and repent of my harsh judgments and unforgivness, the things I learned from ..Bo's memories would have only further rooted and grown the anger and bitterness I once held in my heart towards these individuals.  How unattractive is an angry and bitter woman?  How pleasant can one's life be when saddled with an angry and bitter wife or mother?

Luke 6:35-38 - "Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful.  Judge not, and ye shall not be judged; condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned; forgive, and ye shall be forgiven."

Ezekiel 18:21-22 - "But if the wicked will turn from all his sins that he hath committed, and keep all my statutes, and do that which is lawful and right, he shall surely live, and he shall not die.  All his transgressions that he hath committed, they shall not be mentioned unto him: in his righteousness that he hath done he shall live."

Matthew 9:13b  "...for I am not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance."

Repenting of my own bitterness, anger and lack of forgiveness has set me free from the bondage certain childhood wounds had caused.  Those wounds brought me destruction through very self destructive behaviors.  Repentance and forgiveness has brought me life and peace.  You see, when we hold on to the hurt, anger, bitterness, resentments, etc. caused by the wounds inflicted upon us by the sins of others, we in turn sin against God.  When we allow someone else's sin to control our lives we are in turn allowing their sins to lead us into damnation.  My repentance and forgiveness does not excuse the actions of others, BUT it does allow me to leave the past in the past and move forward toward life - a peaceful and abundant life.

2011 New Year Update

Our family has, yet again, begun the New Year with the loss of a loved one. My brother-in-law, JL, passed away on the 3rd of January. He will be greatly missed by our family. He was a jester who mercilessly teased EVERYONE. He was also an example of generosity. Not only had he dedicated 27 years of his life as a fireman, he was always the guy one could count on to pitch in and help out when ever or where ever needed.

This loss has been especially hard on Mr.B. He has lost both sets of grandparents, both his parents and now his only sibling. To make matters worse for Mr.B, JL was two years younger than he. JL's passing was quick and unexpected. This is yet another reminder to cherish each day we have with our loved ones, it may be the last day we spend with them.

Mr. B had enjoyed a nice telephone conversation with JL the evening before his passing. I am thankful Mr.B had the opportunity to spend a little time with him, even if it was via the telephone, before he passed.

My prayer for you: is that you take a little extra time this week to connect with those you love and care about.

A Walk Down Memory Lane

Ahhh, air dried bed linens. Every Monday evening as I crawl into bed at night, the scent of freshly washed and line dried bed linens takes me back, so many years ago, to Grandma's house.

Memories of my paternal grandmother, or Grandma as I called her, are my most treasured memories. As a little bitty girl she was my best friend. As a young girl, she was still my best friend. Even as a teenager, although we were separated by 1,000 miles, it turned out that she was still my best friend.

Grandma was 60 years old when I was born. It wasn't long before I became the apple of her eye. "Babydoll" was her name for me. She called me that even after I'd become a mother myself. When OG was a little bitty girl, my dad often commented on how much she was like me when I was little. If that is true, I can easily see how I quickly became so special to Grandma. OG was the sweetest and happiest little girl.

I remember as a small child living in Grandma's home. A little bitty 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom frame house. She didn't have a car. She didn't have air conditioning. She didn't even have a washing machine. But ahhhhh - love ... she had sooo much love and she showered me with it daily.

When I was little she used to wash the laundry in the bathtub. She used an old plunger handle to stir and swish the water. She'd drain out the wash water and fill the tub with clean rinse water and stir and swish the soap out of the laundry. She did this twice - "wash once, rinse twice" she'd say. Then she's hand wring the laundry and place it in a basket and carry it to her little back stoop where she had a wringer attached. As she fed the laundry into the wringer, she often times let me turn the crank, it would fall into another basket. She would then haul the laundry out to the clothes line and pin it up to dry.

On hot summer evenings, after my bath I would never use a towel to dry off. I'd put my jammie's on while I was still damp. Grandma would then help me brush my teeth and she would brush out and braid my knee length hair. My jammie's would be damp from the bath water when I climbed into her bed. She had a large fan in the window that blew a gentle breeze across the middle of the bed and it would make us just cool enough to fall asleep. Each night I drifted off to sleep with the scent of line dried bed linens and Grandma softly singing old Celtic tunes to me ... "you take the high road and I'll take the low road and I'll be in Scottland 'fore ye ..."

Line dried bed linens - if love had a scent, that's what it would smell like to me.